This morning I am wallowing in guilt. Last night the Prince asked if he could sleep in our bed until his dad was finished watching baseball and turned in. Stupidly, I said yes. I was dead tired, also slightly embarrassed because it was only about 8:45 PM. I'm getting old. Pretty soon I'll be eating my dinner at 4:30 like my mother. Anyway, it became apparent pretty fast that the Prince was going to talk instead of sleep. Things have been going much better at school for him and I think that an earlier bed time has something to do with it. Since he was already fifteen minutes past his bed time, I fibbed and told him I heard Daddy coming up the stairs and he had to go back in his room. All was well until he asked me to stay in there until he fell asleep because he didn't want to be alone. Mind you I'm so tired that I'm starting to sway on my feet, so I told him no, that I was going to sleep too. He begged. He pleaded. I lost my temper. He cried. I went to bed and pulled the pillow over my head so I couldn't hear him.
This morning I feel like I am the world's worst mother. I'm pretty sure he's forgotten all about it because he was downright chipper this morning, but still. I feel bad. I know I should just let it go, but.... . That big but. Before I know it he's not going to want me for anything. I will be relegated into The My Mother's So Annoying I Wish She Would Just Leave Me Alone And Get Off My Back And Let Me Hang Out With My Friends category. My mother told me that time flies and before you realize it's happening you're an old lady and your kids are grown up. She's right. Six years has gone by in a flash. Ten years, twenty years aren't that far behind.
Maybe tonight if he asks I'll stay. Maybe I'll read just one more story. He won't be asking much longer.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
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3 comments:
Dude, I can relate. It does go by fast, and you don't get those moments back.
Yr not old, BTW.
:)
Every mom has had moments like that. And fortunately, our kids don't hold it against us.
The good news is: you have another day to try again -- to be more understanding or more patient or whatever is needed.
And don't beat yourself up about needing some rest. Moms are human, too, you know. Try to be as understanding with yourself as you are with your son.
He's looking to you for security... that tells me you're doing a good job.
(hugs) - Julia at Midwest Moms
If I had a nickel for everytime I felt like a horrible mother I would be a millionaire.
I feel all the guilt on a daily basis and I too think that time is going so fast, but darn it, I'm tired too! Especially when I had a little baby to tend to. When WW was little I would go to bed everynight by 8 pm and be fast asleep by 8:07.
Like the other commenters said, luckily they don't remember these little blurbs in the grand scheme of things and to be honest if you stayed it might have only made him stay up later.
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