IPO

God damn I miss my dad so much it isn't even funny. I keep catching myself about to call him to tell him something and then I realize he's gone. I'm also stuck in one of those stages of grief that you hear about, except I'd call mine Incredibly Pissed Off rather than Anger. I wonder how long until I move into another stage? I've been in this one since he died. Fucking cancer.

I also find myself wondering what kind of cancer I'm going to get. Everyone, I mean everyone in my father's family had some kind of cancer so unless my mother's genes are evening things out for me (her family lives forever, good Greek genes that she has) I'm going to get something. Will those cigarettes I smoked in my teens come back and bite me in the ass? Have I come in contact with a carcinogen that flipped on my cancer switch?

I used to work for a group of surgeons before I got married. I used to get annoyed at the cancer-phobes that used to call for an appointment convinced that they were going to die because they were showing some symptoms of colon cancer. Now I can't say that I blame them.

This post isn't turning out the way I'd planned. Fucking cancer, fucking with my brain. Sorry for all the swearing. Like I said, Incredibly Pissed Off.