I Did Not Do The Ugly Cry (In Public)

So I'm back. After one of the worst possible phone calls you could ever receive and an absolute flurry of laundry, packing, servicing the car and finding a pet sitter we left for NJ. (A million thanks to L for watching William AGAIN. Sorry he was grumpy this time.) Long car rides are on my list of things I try not to do and the entire time I was anticipating how I would find my mother. I worried for nothing. She and I began our mourning five months ago when my dad was diagnosed and I guess she has been mentally preparing herself ever since because she was...OK. Yes, she cried a little here and there at certain things but that can be expected. She was not a complete wreck and for that I am proud of her.

My dad planned his funeral himself in advance. He was cremated immediately, so there was no wake, thank God. (I personally find sitting around staring at a dead body really disturbing and I am glad he did too.) The woman at the funeral home where he was cremated was really helpful as far as getting together death certificates and filing paperwork and that sort of thing. My mom and I wouldn't have known where to start. My dad was a veteran, so he was buried at a veteran's cemetery. His cousin who is a minister performed the service and then two Air Force servicemen did the whole folding of the flag thing while they played Taps, then they gave the flag to my mom. It was just what my dad wanted. We brought two pictures of him to put out, one from when he was in the Air Force when he was young and another from my wedding seven years ago.

As far as funerals go, it was good. Except for one thing. My nose. My God, my nose would not stop dripping. I was really afraid I was going to break down and do the really ugly sobbing cry. I held it in, but for some reason my nose thought that meant it had an express pass to run like a faucet. I'm hoping people thought I had a cold or something. At least I had enough sense to bring a handkerchief. I would have been in trouble without one.

I saw some cousins that I hadn't seen in years which was nice. Everyone who came had something nice to say about my dad and that made me feel better. Afterwards everyone came back to my mother's house for something to eat. Thank you to my husband for running around that morning getting everything together. As usual, we bought too much, so we ate leftovers for a few days after.

And then, just like that it was time to come back home. I offered to stay with my mom and fly home, but she told me to go home, that she was going to be all right. I really hope she will be.

On a much lighter note, the night of my dad's funeral the baby decided to do a kick-boxing demo. It was the first time I felt him move.